13 Aug The Romance and Dating Cheat Sheet for Busy Parents
They say things can get a bit stale in the romance department when you get married, but once you have kids, it can become even more difficult to keep your relationship hot and exciting. Running after a baby that’s just learned how to walk and is stumbling around the house or your romantic evening coming to a screeching halt because your kid had a nightmare and is knocking at the bedroom door, are just some of the things parents have to worry about, not to mention household chores and their regular jobs.
You and your partner can become a well-oiled machine, a great team that can tackle common household problems and parenting issues, but it’s easy enough to get too relaxed with each other and lose some of that sexiness. You might also get very little time to yourselves, and if you’re both tired a quiet evening together boils down to hitting the bed, having a short talk and going to sleep. This is why busy parents need a romance cheat sheet that will help them spice up their love life and keep things fresh and exciting.
Little random acts of love will keep things from going stale
There are just too many things a parent has to worry about during any given day, so you can afford to spend half the day in bed with your partner, making only occasional trips to the bathroom and a lunch break. That’s a young couple’s game. The more mature and responsible among us have to settle for a whole bunch of little acts of kindness and small romantic gestures to fill the gap between major events, when you get to spend more quality time with each other, e.g. anniversaries, birthdays and sending the kids off to stay with their grandparents for the weekend. Serving your partner breakfast in bed before heading off to work in the morning, giving them a relaxing massage after a hard day, having a suspiciously long shower together, surprising them with a small gift – these are all great ways keep your partner happy.
Give each other some space
Being next to each other 24/7 kind of kills any feeling of privacy you once might have had. Some people get along great, but you’re not always going to want to do the same things and you would probably want to have something new to tell one another from time to time. You can focus on different hobbies – e.g. one of you has yoga classes three times a week and the other goes fishing every now and then – or simply spend some time away from the other person at the house. You sit down to watch a TV show or read a book, while your partner can go to the garage or garden and do some work. You can divide household chores, so that one day you get to relax and do what you want while your partner rounds up the kids and does some house maintenance, and then you switch roles another day.
Maintain a good sense of humor and playfulness
Parenting is some serious business, and we are all expected to become more responsible and mature once we become parents. However, I fervently disagree with the notion that being mature and responsible means that you can’t have a great sense of humor and childish playfulness. In fact, making each other laugh can help you stay positive, and engaging in some childish games – like tickling, spraying one another with water guns, secretly making fun of people in the street, doing funny voices or chasing your partner around the room to tag them – will keep you feeling like a carefree young couple. You can play with your kids or when no one is around to see it, just for fun.
Make sure you get some alone time at least once a week
It’s not easy to get some privacy all that often when you’ve got kids running around the place, particularly if you and your partner’s work schedules don’t overlap. Having some alone time is very important, so the best thing to do is to turn one night of the weekend into date night. If you can’t leave the kids at your parents’ house, you can always do some research and find someone to watch your kids on date night. You can have a romantic evening at a nice restaurant, go see a movie or even rent a hotel room and have some fun. This way, you’ll have something to look forward to during the week and you won’t fall into a rut.
Make an effort to look sexy
The old clichés like “women stop shaving their legs”, “guys start burping out loud” and “you never really get dressed up for one another” are fairly true for most married couples who’ve been together for a while and had kids together. While this is unavoidable when you share a home and your bed with someone – think about all the stuff you used to only do when you were alone, and now have no problem doing it in front of your significant other – it is a good idea to offset all this unsexy, mood-killing mundane behavior with a bit of flair.
Don’t be casual all of the time. Try to look a bit more formal and presentable from time to time, even when you are just sitting around the house. Guys can get a haircut, shave, do a few sit-ups and pushups now and then; girls can do their nails, change their hairstyle, go for a run, do some squats now and then and put on some light makeup. Try to impress your partner as you would try to impress a new date.
