20 Dec 4 Best Movies of 2014 You Should Definitely See
If you do not like movies, something is seriously wrong with you. I have a friend who does not like watching movie – she dreads the thought of having to sit through a two hour explosion marathon with magic and, preferably, dragons. She just hates it, and her reasoning is that she simply does not understand them. That is why every time I make a movie reference joke (it’s levi-OH-sa, not levio-SA) she is completely baffled by them, and I really hate having to explain my jokes. That makes me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. I know they are funny, so should she. Anyhow, if you do not want to have a friend talking bad behind your back, prepare your schedule and your wallet, and here is a list of the must see movies in 2014.
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Not to spoil anything, or whatever, but this movie is about apes taking control over the planet, and by the looks of the title, it probably isn’t about an actual dawn, but more about how those monkeys (sorry, apes) create a nation and their own equivalent of government. The tables have turned, and they are now threatened by a band of human exiles, as they are trying to achieve peace – to try and coexist – but it is probably going to be futile. This highly expected sequel has premiered in the UK on 17 July 2014.
How to Train Your Dragon 2
This is an exciting second chapter where a heroic Viking called Hiccup goes on adventures with his dragon Toothless. Now that there is peace with the dragons, they are spending their time eating, drinking, whatever other activities Vikings enjoy (Raiding villages? Well, there is none of that here), and riding their new friends – dragons. They are organizing races, having a fun time, while our main hero is pressured into becoming a chief, but he gets scared and runs off in search of new adventures. No spoilers here, and if you want some, Wikipedia is probably your friend, because this is all based on the book series of the same name.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Oh my gawd. They are probably the reason why I have my pizza addiction (It’s a real thing, I googled it), because every time I remember my childhood, I remember wanting to eat pizza that was just like in that cartoon. Ok, besides remembering how old I am, I just remembered that Michael Bay wanted to make our favorite turtles and their teacher rat into aliens, and that the original title had the “Teenage Mutant” part removed from the title. Now that he finally came to his senses, they are again teenagers, and are again mutants, and are on a quest to save New York from the evil Shredder. Whenever you can guess who is evil from their name, you know that is a quality movie.
Transformers 4
Michael Bay thinks that three movies about Transformers is not enough, so he is on his quest to earn another couple of millions. Making epic, enormous, fighting car robots destroy cities while smashing each other is Michael Bay’s unique ability, and he could not possibly pump any more testosterone producing imagery into a single movie. I am still not sure who won in the last movie, since all I saw was a lot of machines and a lot of missiles and collapsing buildings, it was pretty confusing but cool. Truly a Shakespearean experience. The changes include a Shia-LaBeouf-less movie, and the introduction of dinobots, a strange and mystical new robotic race. Race of robotic dinosaurs. Probably. They really need to get more creative with some names.
You absolutely must see these movies in order to stay hip or cool. Whatever. You will only need to go to the nearest cinema, and enjoy the immersive 3D experience you can totally forget about five minutes into the movie. If you are not interested in the newest that Hollywood has to offer, try watching some of the best animated movies, since those are sure to warm up that cold heart of yours. I am pretty sure the movie industry introduced 3D effects only to take more money from us, but now if you’ll excuse me, the Hollywood secret police is probably on their way here to arrest me for blasphemy.
